Cotillion and Bal Noel: Does Tradition Benefit Youth?
Invitations, gowns, and dates are things that seem like outdated aspects of parties–ones that are rarely used in life today, or that you only hear about in a crazy-elite drama like “Gossip Girl.” The idea of having to ask or hope for an invitation, scour for a date, and find the appropriate attire is something that many high schoolers today struggle to enjoy, and hope to abandon. So why does our community still annually host Cotillion and Bal Noel?
The Cotillion, which first began in 1935, is a formal event hosted annually, around every Thanksgiving. The dance is held by the Cotillion board and is meant to introduce young people into the social community. Bal Noel is a similar event, dating back to the 50s, and is hosted around Christmas time. The dances adhere to a formal dress code, require a date, and are invite only. To attend these events, a person’s family has to be on the Cotillion or Bal Noel board or must receive a bid from a member of the board. The board selection process has been based on the original families of Saint Joseph since the 1930s: there are 25 families on the board at a time– once all the children of a family have graduated college, a new family is selected to take their place on the board.
It’s easy to see that these are events confined to specific people– that’s why a large number of people in Saint Joseph dislike it. They criticize that Cotillion and Bal Noel are events that promote an “elitist” community, allowing families with more connections and resources to continue excluding those who don’t have the same opportunities. For Cotillion, a date of the opposite sex is required– a fault that many also find in the event. To bring a date of the same gender, an attendee has to submit a statement formally expressing that they are actually part of the LGBTQ+ community. These traditions are viewed as incredibly old-fashioned, and many wish that their community could move past these older social standards and expectations.
But we can’t just look down on these events from an outside perspective. What about the people who have attended these events?
Greta Youngstedt, 11, has been a member of Cotillion for the past few years. “I love being able to dress up with my friends and feel all formal,” she gushed. “It lets me spend time with my family at a nice event. And being in control of the bids and stuff gives me a lot of responsibility, which I like.”
The rules and expectations of Cotillion and Bal Noel are ones that we don’t see often in our world, especially for teenagers. Life has become lax, for better or for worse. We have the privilege of going to school wearing pajamas and Crocs, and we have the choice of letting AI do our homework for us. Our generation allows people to do what they want, and to not have to adhere to tradition. But these traditions shouldn’t always be forgotten. Cotillion and Bal Noel are helpful to teens because they push them to take initiative. The dances themselves are fun, memorable experiences, and they can only be experienced by taking the right steps forward. Someone can’t just go through life hoping they will get invited to something, or wishing someone would ask to take them on a date. In certain jobs, or life in general, there are going to be rules on what to wear or how things should be done; it’s simply unrealistic to not expect or respect those expectations, especially when they’ve been around for generations. These traditions remain for a reason: they help the people they’re made for. That’s what makes opportunities like Cotillion and Bal Noel so important– people get to choose what kind of life they want to lead, and what kind of community they want to be a part of.
