Our Complex Connections

Our world as we know it continues to grow more and more complex each day as our actions follow suit. We create bonds with one another, decide on things that further affect the world through ideas such as the butterfly effect, and curate tangible items that add to the disorder of the universe. This typically results in complex relationships and feelings which can be either negative or positive, depending on each individual situation.

According to nytimes.com, the usage of the term “toxic” now “thrives online, and particularly in women’s and business media, where listicles and prolix advice columnists offer counsel on ways to recognize and, if necessary, purge toxic friends, lovers, and bosses before they contaminate you too.” There are thousands of reasons why we use toxic to describe a situation, but mostly boils down to our overcomplication and reactions to situations. Why do we do the things we do? How do our intentions cause further complications? How can I control situations? 

When proposed with the question of whether or not friendships/relationships were beneficial or negative, there seemed to be a common response among SJHS students.

“Beneficial. I try to surround myself with positive people,” Avery Valenti, 10, said. 

Agreeing with Avery, most people said that their relationships and friendships with others have a positive effect on their lives, according to the Wind-Up survey. And, just like our world today, some answers received were more complex than others.

“I think they’re way more beneficial, but I hate more people than I like,” Morgen Hammerschmidt, 10, said. 

This makes us wonder what caused the human race to over-complicate our relationships with one another. We went from cavemen, barely speaking, to conceiving layers of thought and emotion. Toxicity, hurt, back-stabbing, love, appreciation, and more–these abstract words just over-complicate our lives, for better or for worse.

“Our minds are hardwired to make some situations more complicated than they are. It’s called the complexity bias, and it’s our tendency to overcomplicate things that are actually pretty simple,” Theshineapp.com argued. 

So naturally, as humans, we tend to overcomplicate most if not everything. This further led us to create negative (and positive) terms to describe these things—better known as abstract words such as ‘toxic’ or ‘rumor’ that are solely ideas that don’t reside in the physical world.

While many things are out of our control in life, we should focus on what we can. It’s a give-and-take. Most of the time, people get hurt, and things become ‘toxic’ or negative from one little action that spirals out of control. The magnitude of our reactions, responses, and thoughts are controlled solely by ourselves. So, next time you find yourself in a tricky situation, pause, simplify it, and think. Your actions and responses will almost always make a difference.