Ask Anything: Eliot Schlaack
photo by luke moyer
Q: How would you explain Eliot if you weren't Eliot?
A: I replaced my oxygen with unfiltered swag.
Q: Is sleeping on the stairs a good idea?
A: If we're talking about the school staircases, no. They aren’t comfy and most of the quiet ones have, like, slits in between the stairs. At home, I mean, I have carpeted stairs so they are kind of comfy.
Q: How do I get HasanAbi to notice me in his Twitch streams?
A: As Wind-Up’s official HasanAbi watcher, I would say you got to get those highlighted chats. Also, NEVER DO IT WHEN HE’S IN STUNLOCK. EVER. If you do, you probably will get banned, lol. (Source: I’ve been noticed by him like four times in the past year.)
Q: I'm currently locked inside of an Arby's that has been closed for weeks. How do you suggest I free myself of this prison and be unshackled once again?
A: Gather all the Meat Mountain sammies in the Arby’s and break the window with the weight of the meat.
Q: How do I become a millionaire?
A: Don’t.
Q: How do you cultivate a superior music taste?
A: Listen to Death Grips. I recommend starting with The Money Store, then try out The Powers That B. Also, post monthly Topsters to your Instagram story, just like me.