Ask Anything: Meghan Meier
photo by luke moyer
Q: Meghan, what should I do if I'm in a public restroom but I run out of toilet paper?
A: Tickling the foot of my neighbor always seems to work for me (I really like feet tickling).
Q: How could I become more like Meghan Meier?
A: You can’t. There will always be one Meghan Meier. Deal with it.
Q: What's the best way to get cheeto dust off your fingers?
A: Get a friend. Enough said.
Q: How to not embarrass yourself after slipping on a banana?
A: I don't know. That's really weird and embarrassing.
Q: What is a balanced meal?
A: A balanced meal consists of two or more servings of vegetables, one to three servings of starch, one serving of fruit, one serving of milk and alternatives, and one to three servings of fat.
Q: How do I tell my teacher that I’ve fallen in love with her?
A: Request a private Go-Time session and profess your love for her. I swear she loves you even if she says no. (The Wind-Up does not encourage any students to act on the advice of our staffers. Please do not listen to Meghan’s advice… sincerely, her editors.)
Q: Do you own Meijers?
A: I don’t, it's owned by my third cousin’s aunt's grandma’s sister.
Q: Bones day or no bones day?
A: No bones.
Q: I’m in love with your brother. How do I tell him?
A: The 9 year old or 19 year old? If it’s the former, you're gross. Ick!
Q: What should I be for Halloween?
A: Patrick Star in thigh high boots. Don’t forget to wear your lucky socks underneath!