Santa, Baby; Santa, Shawty

Santa, Baby

By Hugo Kapelke

After the Autumn leaves have all been bagged, and the snow begins to fall we know winter has arrived: crackling fireplaces, steaming hot cocoa, and dazzling snowflakes. And what better to accompany that than classic Christmas tunes? Songs like “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” by Andy Williams and “The Christmas Song” by Nat King Cole bring the very essence of the Christmas spirit with their smooth, classy lyrics. Any Xmas celebrating samaritan knows each one by heart. Unlike the rest of the year, Christmas has a universally “vintage” feel where both the young and old can celebrate a classic taste in music. Grandparents share Bing Crosby and other crooners' voices with their grandchildren–and will continue to do so for generations–because classic Christmas music is as much a staple of Christmas as leaving cookies out for old St. Nick on Christmas Eve. 

Nothing else could be played while the fireplace warms the room as small hands place ornaments on the tree, or while the victor of the family board game celebrates with a cup of hot cocoa. These songs bring out the soft joy, loving connections, and easy memories of Christmas. This isn’t even mentioning the original carols like “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing” or “Jingle Bells” which have been around for almost as long as Christmas itself and are the quintessential backbone of the holiday. 

It’s safe to say that Christmas wouldn't be complete without these songs or the vintage classics sung by crooners mentioned before. “Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!” by Dean Martin was released in 1959 and to this day remains the best song to play at the first sight of snow. Or even Dean Martin’s “Baby it’s Cold Outside”, which is the perfect song for when you’re baking Christmas cookies with your lover. Not every Christmas classic needs to have a slow, old-timey feel to it either. Songs like “Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree” by Brenda Lee–although released in 1958–have an energetic, fun, and upbeat theme that carries with them excitement for the holidays. Even if you’re spending Xmas break somewhere sunny and snowless like Hawaii, Bing Crosby’s “Mele Kalikimaka” has you covered. I asked Justice Goodwin, 9, his thoughts on modern vs. classic Christmas music.

“New Christmas music experiences with too many different genres that don’t have the same feel as the old ones. Everybody knows old Christmas songs, but far fewer know any of the modern ones. Everybody can sing them and everyone knows what they mean,” Justice said, “My Favorite (Christmas song) would definitely be “The 12 Days of Christmas” and my least favorite is an easy pick: “All I Want For Christmas is You.” It's totally overplayed and has an annoying tone.” 

So when it comes down to it, the classics have one thing over the new music: spirit. We listen to modern funk and pop all the time, and the Christmas songs by modern artists sound exactly the same. They’re just your average pop songs with a few “it’s that time of the year” and “mistletoe” lyrics thrown in. You could pop on Justin Bieber’s “Only Thing I Get For Christmas” any time of the year and it wouldn’t feel any different. However, if you play “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” by Frank Sinatra, everyone in the room is immediately bombarded by Christmas nostalgia. 

The newer songs just lack the heart of the classics and feel like unoriginal, Xmas-themed cash grabs by popular celebrities. Although songs like Wham’s “Last Christmas” and Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas is You” have catchy melodies and modern lyrics, nothing makes winter feel like Christmas more than the classics. 

Santa, Shawty

By Ellie Fischer

As soon as I hear Mariah Carey’s whistle-tone after she emerges from her block of ice on November 1, the school days are suddenly more bearable, the wind isn’t so cold, and beds become comfier. Christmas is coming. Nothing compares to hearing Kelly Clarkson’s “Underneath the Tree” and Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas Is You” on the radio in my mom’s car. But then, when “Santa, Baby” by Eartha Kitt comes on, we change the station. Who thought it was a good idea to make Santa out to be a sugar daddy? Isn’t Santa (spoilers) supposed to be your dad? Or your grandpa? Let me go ask my dad for “a ring, and I don’t mean on the phone,” for Christmas, and hope I still get invited on family vacations. Also, if Santa is so rich, why, of all things, ask for a duplex? This song sucks, and it’s not the only old Christmas song that does. There are plenty of others, like “Dominick the Donkey,” “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer,” and “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.” And sure, there are some bad new Christmas songs, but they still surpass the old ones in every way.

Do you ever get tired of hearing the same three songs every single day in December? It’s always “Sleigh Ride,” “White Christmas,” and “Santa Claus is Coming to Town.” Why listen to the old White Christmas when you could listen to “Winter Wonderland” from the Pitch Perfect 2 soundtrack featuring Snoop Dogg? New Christmas songs give you a break from the monotony of Bing Crosby and bring the vivacious vocals of Justin Bieber in his hit, “Mistletoe.” Old Christmas songs could never give us the lyrical mastery that, “Underneath the mistletoe with you Shawty,” and “the wise men followed the star the way I followed my heart” that young Justin gave us. Moreover, some old Christmas songs are so old that you can’t understand what they’re saying because the recording is so bad. In “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” by Brenda Lee, if you’re not listening close enough, it sounds like ****in’ pie and not pumpkin pie. 

“Old Christmas songs are like, ‘yeah, I’m gonna sing this in choir,’ but the new ones you’d find on the radio. The old ones aren’t pop,” Gavin Brocato, 9, said.

 I have to agree with Gavin: most old songs are just too slow to listen to all December long.

Old Christmas song fans will probably bank on nostalgia as their reason for why they are so much better. But what is so warm and fuzzy about creepy men not letting women leave, and catching your mom cheating on your dad with Santa Claus? I understand people can take “Baby It’s Cold Outside” a little too seriously, but the lyrics “say, what’s in this drink,” and “you’re very pushy you know,” are probably not the best things to put in a Christmas song. And “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” is just plain weird. Nothing gets me in the Christmas spirit more than Santa getting frisky! 

“‘Frosty the Snowman’ is my least favorite Christmas song,” Nadia Sekellick, 11, said. “That movie scares me.” 

I don’t blame her. According to yessantaisreal.com, Frosty was born on December 24, 1929. Finding a bunch of eight-year-olds playing with a lonely, 93-year-old man would get the cops called immediately.

But, enough about bad old Christmas songs. In the past 40 years, several amazing Christmas songs have been released or re-recorded: “Last Christmas” by Wham!, anything sung by Michael Buble, “All I Want For Christmas is You” by Mariah Carey, A Very Special Christmas albums one, two, and three, “Underneath the Tree” by Kelly Clarkson, “Christmas Tree Farm” by Taylor Swift, Tyler the Creator’s Christmas Album, and Ariana Grande’s Christmas albums, to name a few.

 “Old Christmas songs are more for if you want a calmer, ‘we’re gonna sit by the fireplace’ kind of mood, but newer songs are more for jamming out and having fun,” Sekellick said when asked why she thinks new Christmas songs are better than old ones.

 If you don’t want to listen to slow, creepy, old songs all December long, new Christmas is the way to go. Say goodbye to old, musty Bing Crosby, and hello to young, devilishly handsome Justin Bieber!