Ask Anything
The Wind-Up’s Staff Advice Column
Featuring
Mattox Williams
Q- My walls are speaking to me what should I say?
A- Something nice but Do Not get too emotionally involved if they’re anything like people. They could collapse at any second.
Q- How Do I find Love
A- Watch The Notebook
Q- How do I steal a baby tiger from a zoo without getting caught.
A- Bring steak, sneakers, and some hair dye
Q- Why do I have a Crush on Peeta from the hunger games?
A-Well if it’s book peeta it’s cause he’s an amputee. but if it’s for the movies, you don’t know what you’re missing
Q-What do I do if my fish learns how to swim on its side
A-Flush it. Goldie is a goner
Q- Should I pick up that cute hitchhiker on the side of the road that I pass everyday?
A- 1. Would you shoot your own hand with a nail gun 2. Do you enjoy small dark places
Q- How do you deal with giant farts in class like the ones that make your stomach hurt
A-I highly recommend discreetly listening to “Keep Holding On” by Avril Lavigne but if you don’t have ear buds, clench and pray
photo submitted by mattox williams