Breaking the wall between masculinity and self-care
While every human being varies in more ways than not, we all share a universal truth: we must take time for ourselves. Self-love, self-care, relaxation time—no matter what you call it, the idea is ubiquitous. Despite this ideology being very simple, our society often stigmatizes self-care as a feminine activity.
Tabloids, social media, and overall, our country’s online culture, have created a subconscious association between self-care and a teenage girl wearing a face mask, drinking tea while listening to the new Tame Impala album. The thing is, though, self-care is not one thing or another, but instead is whatever each individual, no matter what gender identity, needs it to be.
The common idea that self-care is feminine may lead men to feel emasculated by the idea of caring for themselves. This should not be true. While our generation did not institute the idea that nearly toxic masculinity is important to being a man, it does perpetuate it.
The stereotypes that suggest men are more violent and unfeeling, along with the positions that some expect men to occupy in society (breadwinner, protector, leader), have instituted a way of thinking that boys and men adopt by way of society and cultural motivation. These stereotypes create an unrealistic and unhealthy expectation for what it means to be a man. Additionally, the average teenage boy’s refusal to partake in activities that require any emotional vulnerability has pushed our country to a point where masculinity, as an ode to traditional masculine activities and ideologies, has become more important than mental health and self-care.
Self-care is defined by Oxford Languages as, “the practice of taking an active role in protecting one's own well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress,” and this definition fully encompasses it. Self-love is a necessity, not just a luxury for those with too much time on their hands. Additionally, self-care is not a free pass for indulgence or selfishness. It is simply the act of taking care of oneself in order to be healthy and happy.
In an age of constant input, with moods and emotions changing faster than another text can be sent, and a mental health epidemic that plagues the youth, taking time out to care for oneself is crucial to remaining healthy through easy and hard times.
Self-care looks different for everyone and does not need to be considered a feminine activity. While the girls that belong to our country’s teenage demographic may gravitate towards the “stereotypical” self-love regiment, it does not mean it is the only way to care for oneself.
Lifting weights, eating healthy, watching your favorite movie, snowboarding or skiing, doing a puzzle, or playing with a beloved pet are just a few examples of how anyone can better themselves physically and emotionally.
All in all, choosing to love yourself is a decision that can be pivotal in the betterment of a person and mental health. In the same way as neglecting your body’s needs—such as food or water—is detrimental to physical health, disregarding that which helps mental health is destructive to the teetering Jenga game that personifies a teenager’s emotional state. Being healthy, both physically and emotionally, is important for all people, no matter your identity. So, take that day off, care for yourself, and do everything that YOU need to do for you.