Cupid and codependence
How self-love can solve your relationship woes
Valentine’s Day. It’s typically summed up as the holiday of Cupid, candy hearts, red hues… and most evidently, couples. In the Wind-Up’s February survey, 68% of respondents said they would ideally be in a relationship during the holiday, yet 58% declared themselves as currently single.
These notions may create a mindset for those partaking (or trying to, at least) in the lovefest: being single is a disadvantage during Valentine’s, but this isn’t true. The holiday isn’t just about relationships—it’s about love. It’s critical to differentiate this, disregarding how they’re interchangeably used.
Love is abstract. It happens between people or within people. Valentine’s Day should encompass both of these definitions, not just the former. Self-love is relatively defined by SJHS students as doing what your mind and body want, and doing just it for you. This practice, however it manifests itself, undoubtedly makes you happier
And if you happen to find yourself in a relationship, according to Time Magazine’s Belinda Luscombe, being a happier person—which self-love helps establish—makes your relationships better overall. Tim Dokter, 12, agreed.
“In a good relationship, oftentimes you tend to start to be more confident because you have a partner that cares about you and makes you feel like every part of yourself is worth loving… Which, in turn, means you can feel happy about yourself!” Tim said.
The confidence formed from self-love can nurture healthier communication and partner independence, as 60.6% of SJHS students believed teenagers are more likely to become codependent in relationships when compared to adults.
The effects of a positive inner relationship are more than just feeling: they’re fact. A press release by the American Physiological Association (APA) in 2019 concluded that individuals with higher self-esteem had higher-quality relationships, and vice versa.
“When self-esteem or the quality of social relationships is low… it can negatively affect the other factor and set off a downward spiral,” the release stated.
While your self-image and relationship with yourself may constantly change, it shouldn’t matter if you’re boo’d up or not. Self-love, and integrating it into your daily life, is crucial to improving all of your relationships.
“Find a good group of friends… a group that will support you and make you feel like you’re special and important… Find things you like about yourself and flaunt [them]. Most importantly, give yourself time to accept yourself... Loving yourself isn’t something that happens overnight. “And don’t be so harsh on yourself! You’re in high school; let loose a little. The less you judge yourself the easier it is to enjoy your high school life,” Tim advised on nurturing self-love.