How Low Can We Go: 2020 Part 2

Well, we’re screwed, so we may as well make this as fun as we can. 2020 was an absolute train wreck, and chances are 2021 will be too, so, let’s hypothetically map out everything that can potentially go wrong. Why? Because we’re all stuck at home, learning nothing and trying to figure out how to position our phones so we can take a virtual test; also, we have the time.

First and foremost: our planet will actually catch on fire. Or drown itself. Or maybe even reform Pangea (climate change is real folks!). Either way, I think our best bet is space travel. I have attempted via Twitter to contact other life forms from different planets. Good news! I was successful. Bad news, they don’t want us. That hurt a little bit. But in conclusion, we have got to figure something else out.

Now that our economy is in shambles and the people can’t study at Starbucks, the US is in mass panic. Businesses are closing and lots of people are losing jobs. My 2021 solution? Let’s just stop working. If everyone stops paying taxes and working, money loses its value. Therefore, we have no currency and the IRS can’t stop us all, right?

I’ve also noticed something I’m sick of on the internet. Nobody knows what’s true or false, and it’s causing mass polarization. Solution? Civil War 2. Might as well. Our planet is already going to burn, and because there will no longer be any monetary value, everything has no value. Have you ever wanted to have an actual Purge? Now’s the chance. May as well make everything legal. Fight to the death and such... Jail? Unheard of.

So, here we are now. The planet is on fire and Pangea exists again. Money has no value and the Purge/Civil War 2 has commenced. Next on our list is to march into Europe and Asia. We are all one continent now, so we have to have one leader. Because America is just the best we can take over and establish a dictatorship. Of course, this dictatorship will fail because the American government will fail to control its own citizens from overthrowing it. This is the part where I suggest we, the people, take over. We have gained the ability to overthrow one government, what’s the harm in another 194?

We, the people, have successfully taken over all 195 countries and their governments. We now have to elect a leader. The people will determine Keanu Reeves to be the Overseeing Prophet. He calms the unrest in the new nation. Keangea is now at peace. 2021 is over.