My Glorious King Lebron

As I awaken from my slumber, I rub my eyes, and there he is next to me. My king. Lebron James. Not actually though, just a life-size body pillow measuring six feet nine inches and weighing 250 pounds. 

I give him one last kiss before I get up and begin my routine. To start, I do what every person should do and I make my bed. Both pillows are stamped with different photos of my king, along with my sheets and comforter. 

I push aside the Lebron shower curtain and hop in. I quickly apply my Lebron scented soap and get out. I brush my teeth with my Lebron toothbrush while listening to his career highlights to keep my brain busy. After I finish my routine, I choose a jersey from my collection, and I make sure everything is where it needs to be before I set out for the day. Lebron posters? Check. Lebron shrine? Check.  Lebron Space Jam: A New Legacy squishy stretch toy? Check. Everything is good, now I can leave.

I pour a bowl of milk and dump in my space jam cereal to relieve my hunger and I continue listening to Lebron’s highlights. I take my time with my cereal, enjoying every bite, as the highlight reel comes to an end. That is my queue to go sit on the couch, and watch Space Jam on repeat for the rest of the day. Most days, I don’t even leave the house. There’s no need. Everything I need, I already have. 

LeBron Raymone James if you’re reading this, thank you for everything.